Thomas was smart, rich, and proud. He invented the TomLev100 hypertrain when he was 25 years old and it quickly revolutionized commuter transit around the world. By age 30, he had more money that he could ever spend, but he spent the next 30 years trying anyway. He traveled, partied, and basked in the glow of millions of people who found him to be a genius, an inspiration, and a great tipper.

Thomas knew he was unique and had to stay alive as long as possible so he could continue to tell others what to do. As he aged, he visited the world’s best doctors and used all the latest life-prolonging therapies.

So it was a complete surprise when he developed terminal skin cancer. Determined to live, he tried the last option available—cryogenics. He had himself frozen. Thomas set up a fund to keep himself monitored by doctors for as long as possible, so when a cure was found, the doctors would unfreeze him, cure his cancer, and employ new latest life-prolonging techniques so his monumental life could continue in perpetuity.

Ninty-five years later, there was a promising treatment option, and since Thomas’ fund was almost depleted, the hospital administrators decided to start the thaw.

To everyone’s surprise, especially the doctors, it worked. Thomas was unfrozen, alive, and his cancer was expunged. After he regained full consciousness, the doctors informed Thomas of his triumph over death. Overjoyed, Thomas leapt from his hospital bed, pushed past the doctors, ran out the nearest exit, and burst out into his new world. It was a wonderland—shiny, modern, his for the taking, just as always. A silver path ran past the front of the hospital and he ran and slid across its smooth surface like a child. He spun around, wide-eyed at the incredible buildings and sleek vehicles zipping by overhead. I will once again be king. Genius! Inspirer! Great tipper! Master of death!

But then a TomLev3000 hypertrain happened along the silver Magtrack on which Thomas exulted. It hit Thomas, launched him a hundred meters forward, and then ran over him one second later. No one inside the train noticed anything.

The doctor’s decided against refreezing Thomas, because there was not enough money (nor enough Thomas) left to do so. The hospital staff collected his remains in a bucket and scattered them in some nearby woods. The remainder of the Thomas fund was liquidated and used to finance a new coffee cart in the hospital. It was called “Tom’s Coffee Train” because one of the nurses remembered reading somewhere that Thomas liked trains or something.